Tuesday, Bloody Thursday

Last Tuesday Rockstar and I went for a walk around our neighborhood. We were trying to find a parking lot that would let us rent a space for the month of July. Rockstar is taking a trip to Chicago from July 2-12 and I am going to a family wedding and visit my parents from July 14-24. Usually when we leave town, the other one takes care of the other’s car but since this is a much longer period of time that we would be gone, we decided to rent a space.

We walked all around the neighborhood and must have checked out at least 8 different lots around us. All of them did not offer monthly renting of spaces. Bummed out, we began to walk home. A low hanging tree branch caught my attention and acting like a child I reached out and smacked it with my left hand.

I immediately cried out in pain, Rockstar shouted too and ducked holding his right ear. I looked and the pointer finger of my left hand was gushing blood. I am not exaggerating either, my finger was covered in blood, hurting like hell and dripping blood all over the place. Confused Rockstar and I looked at each other then up to the branch. What I didn’t see what that the tree branch was covered with inch long curved thorns, one of which had torn into my finger. Rockstar kept holding his ear and saying that it got him too, I looked at his ear and there was BARELY a scratch on it, but since I caused the problem I told him that it did get him, apologized and then started walking home. My finger kept bleeding profusely and I had nothing to keep it from dripping all over the sidewalk. I saw a crumpled dirty napkin on the ground and I picked it up. Rockstar freaked out and said,

“Please don’t put that on your finger.”

I told him that to calm down and that I was just going to place it under my finger to catch the blood. We walked home and I put a band-aid on it. I am not sure if Rockstar did anything to his wounded ear. Sitting in my room the only thing I could to say was,

“Of course this would only happen to us”

We eventually did find a space that we could rent for the month of July thanks to our friend Mr. Smith.

Thursday I was driving to work in the office of my catering company. I started to drive away from my parking spot and I felt something dripping down my nose. I wiped my finger under it because I thought it was snot and I didn’t have anything in my car to wipe it with. I looked at my finger and it was covered in blood. “Not again” I thought to myself. Twice in the same week the universe has taken my life force. I reached into my bag and grabbed the napkin that I had wrapped my lunch in. I wadded it up and held it to my nose.

I was running a little bit late to my job, so I kept driving with the napkin held up to my nose. I bet the Korean’s in this town got a little freaked out.
The bleeding didn’t stop until I walked into my office. The young lady that sits by the front door asked me what happened and I explained to her my bloody problem. My nose had stopped bleeding and I threw out the napkin. Then the young lady suggested that I go check myself out in the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and noticed I had dried blood all over my nose and the top on my mouth. Then I looked at my hands and saw dried blood all over them. It looked like I had just murdered someone. So, I washed my hands and cleaned up my face and went on with my day.

I haven’t had a spontaneous bloody nose in well over a decade. I don’t know what is going on. Maybe I have some sort of brain disease, or maybe because this is Southern California, it is just dry and dusty out here and I was dehydrated. I will take the words of Ralph Wiggum’s to heart to try to prevent another episode.

“The doctor said that if I kept my finger out of my nose, it wouldn’t bleed so much”

Gettin' Jiggy Wit It

Last Sunday Rockstar and I worked a private event at the estate of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. We were both really excited because it would be a party with a lot of celebrities and we wanted to see what a $20 million dollar movie star's house looked like.

We took an exit off of the highway and then proceeded to drive around an area where there wasn't much of anything except desert. We saw a huge wooden gate that was the entrance to the property. After buzzing in we drove along a street and passed a lot of little buildings on the property until we reached the main house.

Let me tell you, I have never really been jealous of what movie star's have, but this house made me change my mind. It was gorgeous. It was huge, and done in a Western style. The house looked like it was made out of adobe and it was so big and beautiful that Rockstar and I just had to take a minute and stare at it.

The event was a basketball tournament being held on father's day. A bunch of guys and their families came over to play ball and eat BBQ food. They had a full length outdoor basketball court with bleachers and a DJ set up. Down below in one of the driveways, they set up a tent with food and beverage stations that Rocky and I manned.

This was the COOLEST event we have ever worked. Everyone was extremely nice to us, the celebrities, the people that worked at the house, the kids. Everyone talked to us, made jokes with us, were very polite to us, and no one seemed to have any type of attitude that they were better than us. The people that worked at the house, our bosses, were very polite when they asked us to do anything. A lot of times when we work at an event where their are celebrities, everyone is really uptight and stressed and they don't treat you very well if you are the help. But these people were different. Right from the very beginning it was cool. Will Smith walked up to Rockstar and I and shook our hands and asked us how we were doing. Jada didn't shake our hands, but she was very nice every time she was around.

The only small problem was the other woman that we worked with. She was a real pain in the ass. One of the first things out of her mouth was "Are you a couple?" to Rockstar and I. I thought it was really funny, but Rockstar is perceived to be gay by people so he has a chip on his shoulder when people say things like that. After that she was one of those passive/aggressive people who always had to ask you if you were sure about something you are doing. Meaning that she had a better way, but didn't just want to come right out and say it. Things like "Are you sure you don't want to put the ice in first?", "Aren't you putting to much on the plate?", "Are you sure you don't want to put a tablecloth on the ground first?" Things like that, which might not seem like a pain, but after 8 hours of it, it got a little old. She was one of those people who thought she was always right and would let you know she disagreed with what you were doing without telling you right away. She even did it to our bosses and the guests, which really made me mad because I thought they might not use our company again because of her.

There were not that many celebrities there, Cedric the Entertainer, Eric LaSalle, Alphonso Ribero, Tisha Campbell, and a bunch of people that I recognized from "Third Watch", "The Chapelle Show", and commercials, but I didn't know their names. A couple of athletes were there as well. Mike Williams who was a stud receiver two years ago for USC and was drafted this year was there. He was about 6'5'' and probably around 230 lbs. Most of the cornerbacks in the NFL are around 5'10" which is close to my height and standing next to him I couldn't understand how a guy my size covers a receiver like him. There was also a retired basketball player named Mark Jackson who I was really excited to see, and they mentioned that Michael Vick was there but I think they were joking because I didn't see him.

At the end of the night, we brought all of the drinks into a really cool bar/game room area where a bunch of guys were watching the NBA finals. The room looked out past the pool to a lake up against mountains and I can imagine just sitting there and watching the sun set.

We worked about 9 hours and they gave us all a nice tip. I can't say enough about how great everything was at there place, and that not all celebrities are assholes.

This week at work I noticed that I had been added to the request list for Will Smith's place, so hopefully I can work there again.

Presenting - Emperor Penguin

I had my first Improv Olympic West show two days ago. It was at 11:30 at night. I was not really sure how we would do, because we have only rehearsed three times. I was really nervous. I have not done long form improv like this in a long time. I have been doing improv at L.A. Connection Comedy theater, but it is not the same thing. That being said, we had an AWESOME show. The people in my group are incredibly talented and I feel like I am rusty and need to get better in a hurry.

The Reverend and Rockstar were both nice enough to come and see me perform. It was really cool because even though it was really late at night, we had about 75 people in the audience. It was a nice change of pace from the 10 we usually get at the other theater. I don't think I did that bad, but I could feel myself hesitating and not going with my instincts like I have in the past. It is just something that I have to get over and I will with time.

Our show was almost 18 minutes long which is pretty short for an improv show, but we were awesome. We were funny and smart and we got out leaving the audience wanting more and our coach very happy with us. I think this is going to be a good time.

After the show I had a Bryan moment. I didn't know if the bar was going to still be open so I told Reverend and Rockstar to go home. I was walking out the the lobby/bar with the team and just as we entered that bar area I said "Does anyone want to get a beer to celebrate?". Just as I said that every member of my team had split off and gone to great people who had come to see them. So I was standing in an area with only our coach and it looked like I was talking to no one. I kind of looked at the coach and he kind of looked at me and he said "I'm gonna take off" and then walked towards the door. I didn't want to intrude into any of the conversations that members of my team were having so I just left also. Then I felt like such a loser that I had to walk a different way to my car because my coach was walking the usual way and I didn't want him to think I was following him.

I kind of felt like an idiot, but still really proud of our show.

MTV Movie Awards = AWESOME!!!

Two weekends ago, I was scheduled to work the MTV Movie awards for my catering company. Here is some interesting trivia about that day.

- I sat in the back of the auditorium and got to see almost the entire show. The only thing I did not get to see was the Foo Fighters perform at the show, but I got to see them perform 3 times during the sound check.

- My job was to pass out drinks to the front row of celebrities during the commercial breaks.

- The drink menu consisted of Coke, Diet Coke, 7Up, white wine, red wine, champagne and water.

- My row consisted of, Ben Stiller, Nicole Kidman, Dustin Hoffman and Sandra Bullock.

- I only got to see Dustin Hoffman and his wife in my row because everyone else only stayed for the first part of the show and left before the first commercial, except for Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock who never sat in their seat.

- I gave Dustin Hoffman a Diet Coke and his wife a 7Up. She didn't seem happy that I didn't put the drinks down on the small table in front of them.

- Quentin Tarantino was not in the VIP section because he was not presenting an award, nor was he nominated for one. That did not stop him from coming up to me during three breaks and taking three glasses of wine each time.

- Yes, when he first spoke to me I said "Holy Shit, you are Quentin Tarantino" inside my head. But I played it cool, real cool.

- Each time he came up to me he was more red in the face and more hoarse.

- Later in the show he went onstage with Darrell Hannah and two stunt doubles for an award for "Kill Bill Vol. 2". He seemed pretty lit, and I was proud that I helped to accomplish that.

- I gave "The Rock" a glass of water, even though he wanted something with liquor in it. He was very nice to me and seemed like a cool guy.

- A woman bumped into me and said excuse me when she turned around. It was Hillary Swank. She has an amazing body, and seemed very genuine.

- Other celebrities I saw included Lindsay Lohan, The Breakfast Club cast, members of the News Team from "The Anchorman" and Jimmy Fallon.

- Jimmy Fallon has ZERO comedic timing. His monologue was horrible and all of the other skits during the show were equally as bad. I am biased against him because I hated him on SNL also. Oh, and when I tell people this, "But he is so cute" is not a good defense for him.

- The theater that the show took place in is a LOT smaller than it looks on TV.

- I would say that the people work at the show including crew, security, technical people and catering people, outnumbered the people attending the show by a 3 to 1 margin. You would not believe how many people work at something like this.

- Almost all of the celebrities in the VIP section, which means either nominated for or presenting an award leave right after their part of the show is done, or they never come to their seats at all. Most of the time there were "seat fillers" in their seats.

- By the time I left work, the show was almost over and the VIP section was about 80% seat fillers.

- I watched the broadcast and the times when they cut to the celebrities sitting in the audience, the shot of them sitting or laughing was from a different part of the show.

- I am pretty sure the shots of Sandra Bullock in the audience was CGI. She was supposed to be in my section and I never saw her once and I could see her seat during the entire show. She was there because she presented an award, but she was never in the audience.

- I don't blame the celebrities at all. They had a nice VIP room to retire to with a full bar, tons of food, and could watch the show on monitors set up all over the place.

- I am definitely one of the shortest men in Hollywood. I was as tall as Dustin Hoffman and he was one of the people I was counting on being shorter than me.

- Sometimes living and working in Hollywood can be pretty cool.

Cliffhanger: In two days I will be working at Will Smith's house for his Father's Day party. Should be LOTS of celebrities.

L.A. Talent

L.A. Talent

My meeting with the L.A. Talent Agency went very well, although I thought it got off to a typical “Bryan” start.

I was scheduled to meet them sometime Friday afternoon. The agent that called me told me to give them a call Friday morning and check to see how the day was going. Then he would tell me what time to come in. I got up nice and early to get ready and placed a call at precisely 9:30. He was not in, so I left a voicemail. I waited, and waited, went to get an oil change, and waited some more. By 12:30 I had not heard from him so I called again to make sure that he was in the office. The woman that I spoke with told me that he was indeed in the office that day, but not wanting to seem desperate I did not ask to speak with him. I waited some more and then I called again at 1:30. I spoke to a woman and explained to her the situation. She put me on hold and then told me that I could come in anytime before 4:00. I didn’t want to seem desperate, so I waited ten minutes until I left. I got to the agency right at 2:00, composed myself and walked into the building.

The lobby was completely empty. There was a desk where someone could sit, but no one was there and there was nothing on the desk to indicate that anyone worked there. To the left of me was a set of glass doors that lead into the agency office. I could see the agents sitting at their desks talking on the phones. All of his or her desks were out in the open and I assumed that you just walked in to speak to someone. Then I noticed the signs. On either side of the doors were two big signs that read “Do Not Enter Unless You Are A Client – No Walk-Ins”. This really confused me. On one hand I was NOT a client of theirs yet, on the other hand I did have an appointment, so I wasn’t sure what I should do. Since I knew that they could see me and they had my picture, I was sure that they could tell it was me. I took a seat in the lobby and waited about 5 minutes. Then I got up and walked past the doors slowly, pretending to read the signs again, making sure they could see that I was still there. I passed the doors, waited a minute and then walked slowly past the doors again, slower still, re-reading the signs. Then I took a seat and waited another minute. By that time I had convinced myself that the people inside were asking themselves “who is the idiot that keeps walking past the doors”. I made a decision to take the bulls by the horns and walk in. I walked into the office with a big smile on my face and looked directly toward the only man in the office who I assumed was the person that called me for the appointment. He immediately held up his finger and mouthed the words “just a minute” to me. I mouthed back “Ok” to him and walked back into the lobby. Then I had a 30 second conversation with myself about how much of an idiot I was and I had blown my one good opportunity so far. Just as I was having this conversation and woman opened the doors and asked me if I was Bryan. I said yes, of course, and she told me it would just be a few more minutes.

After a couple of minutes the man, Mike, came through the doors and invited me in. I sat down and we talked for about 7 minutes. He asked me about certain things on my resume, and commented on how much improv/comedy training and experience I had. He was very impressed that I had dedicated so much of my life to doing it. There were other two ladies next to him and they all commented that I looked EXACTLY like my picture, which is a really, really good thing to be. He asked me how old I was and I told him 30. Like most people he didn’t believe me and was really impressed that I was older but could play much younger than I am. After that, he thanked me for coming and told me that they were very interested in me, but they had to talk with other people and they would be giving me a call either way on Monday. I asked him if there was anything else I needed to do for him, and he said no. This was just to see how I looked and to have a chat with me. I left the office feeling very good about it and hoping that I would get a call on Monday with good news.

I did.

As of Wednesday, June 15, I officially became represented by L.A. Talent for commercials.

I am incredibly excited about it. For one thing, at least I can now go on real auditions and hopefully start getting some work and making some money. Another reason is that this agency also represents people for theatrical projects. Theatrical is the area of television and movies. They do not represent me in that area yet, but if I do well for them, then maybe by next pilot season they will represent me and I can audition for television show.

One selfish I am excited is because I am a couple of weeks away from my one year anniversary and 31st birthday and I have accomplished a lot of what I had wanted to when I first moved out here. So I am feeling quite good about things right now. Which is usually when the floor drops out beneath me.

And David Slew Goliath....

With but a single stone.


I have been in L.A. for almost one year now. In some respects I have come a long way, but in others I have not yet constructed a path to the success I seek. That may be about the change.

Last Friday I received a phone call from an agent. I mailed his agency a headshot and resume in one of the many blind mailings I have been doing over the past month. Many people I speak to say that blind mailings are a wasted of time and money. The chances that a an agency will be looking for new people, that a receptionist will open the envelope, that the same receptionist will pass on the headshot and resume to someone with power, and that the someone with power will be interested in a virtual nobody, is very low. Nevertheless, I kept the mailings up just to make myself feel better about being proactive with my career. It paid off.

He said he was very impressed with my improv training and experience and that many agents and casting directors are now looking for those people for projects. He also was very familiar with the University of Iowa, which I attended.

Long story short, he asked me to come into his office this Friday for a "chat". On the phone I think I was a babbling idiot, but he seemed to be a decent guy. I am trying not to get to excited about it, just so it would hurt less if they do not sign me. But I am very optimistic about the meeting. I have always felt that if I get a break, then I will make the most of it.

Well I just caught one.