Great trip, gross ending

I just got back from a 10-day trip to visit my parents with my sister. I flew into O’Hare and met my sister there, then we both flew to Harrisburg, PA and my parents picked us up there. We went to an all night dinner called the “All American Diner” and had a really late dinner. We hadn’t seen each other in a couple of months so we spent most of the time laughing and having a great time. We spent the night at a motel and drove on to Delaware where our cousin Jeff was getting married. The wedding was a blast.

We hung out with cousins and saw a lot of extended family that I have only met a couple of times in my life. We drank at a bar called the “Rusty Rudder” and “The Lantern”. The hotel was right on the ocean and had a great view.

Our cousin Jeff has a cousin on his father’s side that is no relation to us. His nickname is JoMo and he liked to tell stories of his wild side. One of the best was when he told us about Jeff ‘s bachelor party in Vegas where they went to a strip club and stayed there for hours and hours. He said that one stripper that lived in Seattle, WA but was in Vegas for a show keeps calling him and asking if she could stay with him if she came out to Virginia where he lives. He got right to the point and told her “No way whore, stay at a motel” which became a rally cry for my family the rest of the trip.

We then drove back to PA where my parents live now for a week of relaxing. We watched movies, went to an amusement park and just had a good time.

One of the highlights was my father taking us to visit his college. My sister and I had been bugging him to take us there for the last couple of years because they only live a couple of hours away. He went to the United States Military Academy at West Point. You go to school there for free, but you then have to serve five years in the Army. It is a really difficult school to get into and an even more difficult school to graduate from. My father didn’t really enjoy his time there, and he was still a little uncomfortable being back there. The place is really beautiful and has an incredible amount of history to it. Statues of Eisenhower, Patton, and Washington are on the grounds as well as plaques that have the names of famous graduates including George Custer. I was really glad to go there, because the military is a big part of my family and I was glad I got to share a little bit with them.

After the week my sister and I flew back to O’Hare and said our good-byes. We hugged each other and went to kiss each other on the cheek but somehow our signals got confused and we ended up kissing on the lips. Let me tell you that was one of the grossest things that has ever happened to me. We both took a second to think about what just took place and then we both started gagging and wiping our mouths. Then she left. What a way to end a vacation.

Fucking Bait and Switch

I received a job offer from my catering company that had this sentence in the details section.

"Super VIP birthday for mega-celebrity whose blockbuster movie opens Wednesday, June 29 and just became engaged to another celebrity"

Now does this sentence apply to:

A. Tom Cruise
B. Vic Armstrong

If you guessed A, you guessed wrong, but that is what everyone thought. People at the office were really jealous of me and other catering people tried to get me to trade the shift with them. I was not about to, because June 29 was my birthday and also my one year anniversary of my move to L.A., needless to say I was ecstatic to spend my birthday with Mr. Tom Cruise.

Even the event personnel at Paramount Studios thought it was for Tom Cruise, ladies kept coming by and asking, is he here yet, and we had to keep telling them no. I started to get a little suspicious when we went to the sound stage that the party was being held at and it was where they shoot "Soul Train" and they didn't have any sort of decorations up. I became convinced that I had been tricked when one guy put up two signs that said "Congratulations Vic on 40 years in the biz". But still people where convinced that it was all just a rouse to keep it in the dark. At 9pm my fears where realized when in walked Vic Armstrong. He is a guy who started out as a stunt man and doubled for Harrison Ford in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and became a stunt coordinator for such high profile films as the last three James Bond movies. His last job is being the stunt coordinator for "Mission Impossible III", which is probably where the mix-up occured.

Working the event was really easy, but I still felt let down. I had told a bunch of people and now I have to tell them I was fooled.

I kept thinking of the line from "Malcom X" when he says, "We've been had, hoodwinked, bamboozzled......" and indeed I was.