Chasing The Dream

Only In The Streets Of LA

2006-04-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

I was driving after work to the Hoya's place to go out to dinner. I was driving North on this street called Highland Avenue to get to the 101 North.

Just driving along minding my own business. I had the window down, playing some tunes, just driving.

I am stopped in traffic and I see about 8-10 police cars driving south on Highland. They were kind of driving slowly, positioning themselves around traffic, turning their lights on and off, but no sirens.

It seemed really, really strange, so I started to look around for some explanation. Maybe a police funeral, maybe a police escort, politician, something. But it was only police cars, a lot of them.

I was coming up to a street called Fountain. I was a couple of blocks south of the light and the police cars had just driven through the light coming toward me. There are about 12 cop cars or so.

All at once every cop got out of the car and draw their revolvers and point them at the cars in front of them. Then I take a look at MY situation.

The police cars are all about 30 yards diagonally to my left. The cars that they are pointing their revolvers at is just to my left and a little ahead of me. Since they all have their revolvers drawn and there are about 20 or so cops, this must be a serious situation. IF shots are fired I am just inside their line of fire.

I have my widow down so I can hear the cops shouting "Driver of the car, let me see your hands, put your hands out of the window."

The car in front of them is a big black SUV. A Yukon. BUT, there is a smaller four door sedan in front of the Yukon. Because he is in front of the Yukon, he can't really see what is going on in back of him. All he can see are some cops off to the side and hear a cop shouting to put his hands out. So the driver of the sedan puts his hands out of the window. The cop keeps yelling for the driver to put his hands out of the window. So the guy in the sedan puts his hands further out the window, and then sticks his head out.

The cops yells to the guy in the sedan to keep moving and then yells "Driver of the Yukon, put your hands out."

I see in MY rearview mirror that more police cars are blocking of the street behind me, closing off the street from the south. And two more cops cars have now blocked the street going in my direction and are motioning for my car and the cars next to me to move around him and get clear.

I follow the cops direction and drive around the police car. As I drove past the car they had pulled over, I looked and saw the guy they were worried about and it was just some middle aged guy. The whole thing only took a couple of minutes, but it was a STRANGE couple of minutes

Never did find out what happened.

Ups and Downs

2006-04-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

The Hoya and I went to California Adventure last week. California Adventure is the Disney theme park right next door to Disneyland. It has some fun stuff, but overall it is a poor man's Disneyland with none of the nostalgia that Disneyland has.

We were eating lunch at this cafe, I had the $8 roastbeef sandwich, and as I stood up this guy who was walking back from throwing away his food stopped me. He reached out his hand and said:

"I don't know where I know you, but I recognize you. I'm John Powers"

So I shook his hand and said:

"Hi, I'm Bryan"

Then I walked to the bathroom. In the bathroom, I kept thinking where I might have run into that guy, working catering, performing improv, but I couldn't place it. Then it hit me. John Powers thinks that I am someone famous. That he saw me on tv or in the movies and wanted to shake my hand.

I went back and discussed it with The Hoya and we both agreed that he probably mistook me for someone else. Maybe Patrick Swayze.

But on the ride home I started thinking that maybe I have a shot at making it out here. If people already think they know me from stuff, maybe I am destined to be on tv or in the movies.

Without knowing it, John Powers had filled me with confidence.

Then two days later I got this letter from my commercial agent.

After close review we have not been able to service you to the best of our ability. Therefore we are releasing you from your commitment to LA TALENT. We wish you the best of luck in the future.

I felt really bad after I got that, but then again, I only got 3 auditions from this agency in 8 months and 2 of the 3 were non-speaking roles. So maybe I am better off without them.

I have a lead on some other agents and maybe they will be better for me.

Can't be any worse. And if all else fails, I will always have John Powers.

The Headshot Saga, Part II

2006-03-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

The last time we left our hero, I had just been given the selection of two headshots that my agents liked. Now he had to get them reproduced. My incredibly kind girlfriend told me about a reproduction house that was 2/3 cheaper than the one I usually used. Being a cost conscience individual, I brought over the disc with the selections on them for me girlfriend to take a look at and alter if needed. I have dark circles under my eyes, thanks to my fathers genes. She was able to erase them on her computer and make me look young again. Then she noticed that the photos were very yellowish, so she altered that as well, and I was finally excited to get them reproduced.

We took them to the reproduction house and gave them to the lady to take a look at. She printed out some quick proofs and came over to me looking concerned. I wasn't worried because everything else had been easy, so this should be as well, right?

Wrong!

She came over and said that the color was all screwed up, that it was too blue and that my hair looked really read around my hair line. I asked what could do that and she replied that the photographer might have altered some of the color, or that the light might not have been right and that is why my hair looked weird.

So I did not leave them to be reproduced. Instead, my lovely girlfriend The Hoya took the files and left the color alone, but tried to make my hairline less red. It might have had something to do with the dye I used to color in my grey hair. Yes, I am graying, so what?!

So she fixed that and then I took them back. The printed off the proofs and they looked alright and I finally got my new headshots almost two months after I had them taken.

The better be worth it!

The Headshot Saga

2006-02-21T14:50:00.000-08:00

I finally got new headshots taken, approved and reproduced. But it only took 2 months to do so.

My original headshot was not getting me auditions. I was more concerned about commercial auditions because I trust my commercial agent more so than my theatrical agent. I asked him to recommend a photographer that they trusted and they gave me the name of a guy named Maximo. Yes, Maximo.

I wanted to make sure that these photos turned out well, so I set up a meeting with Maximo in December to talk over what I wanted, look at my previous photos, and generally get on the same page. He was a good guy and we could shoot pretty soon, so I set up an appointment for a photo shoot.

I hate taking pictures of myself. I feel uncomfortable and I am sure that it shows in the pictures that are taken of me. But, I went into the shoot with a positive attitude and ready to get at least 1 great shot of me that Casting Directors would go ga-ga over. One is all that it takes.

The shoot went well and I picked up my CD from Maximo to look at the shots. Here is where it starts to get frustrating.

He gave me a disc of JPEG files that had about 50 shots on it that were his picks for my commercial agent to take a look at. Then he gave me a DVD with all of the files of the pictures on it. The problem is that my computer is old and does not have a DVD player on it. So I could not view all of the shots. I had to call him back and set up another time for me to come get a disc of all JPEG shots on a CD, not a DVD. That took about a week to get that and when I did it was almost Christmas and work was really busy and I was getting a show together for Chicago in a couple of weeks. I did not have the time to sit down for hours and pour through all of the shots. But in mid-January I finally sat down and picked a bunch for my agents to look at. I emailed my commercial agent, but he didn't get back to me right away. No big deal, I will just go to my theatrical agent and get her opinion. I got in and had the best interaction I have ever had with her. She told me that she liked some of the pictures I had brought in, but she wanted to take a look at the whole shoot. She didn't usually do that for people, but for me she would. She wanted me to bring in the whole disc of pictures that she would go through and pick her final choices.

I copied the CD, and dropped it off the next week. I emailed her that I had done what she asked and she replied "We don't accept CD's of photo shoots, please pick out your choices and make an appointment to come and see me". That was more like the interaction that I usually have with them. I know they see tons of people and it is hard to keep track of what you tell everyone, but it was frustrating none-the-less. I sent her another email telling her the situation and that she told me to drop it off. A couple of days later she emailed me back that she did remember telling me that and she would look at my disc and get back to me in a couple of weeks.

Meanwhile, I finally got through to my commercial agent and set up a time to come in. I brought the 15-20 choices that I had printed out on my computer, using up a whole ink cartridge in the process, and presented them to him. No way. He did not want to see my choices, he wanted me to leave the CD with Maximo's choices at the office and they would look at them and get back to me the next day.

The next day, I had not heard anything from them by late afternoon. So I sent an email checking up on things. "Didn't have time to get to it. Will look tomorrow" was his reply. So I waited again. Sent an email again late in the afternoon the next day. Same thing. Wait until tomorrow. I didn't contact them the next day and instead waited a whole day until contacting them. "Come in around 2 tomorrow" was his only reply.

I go in the next day, almost a full week since I had set up the first appointment, and he hand me the disc and says "Our systems are down, we can't look at the disc." I don't mention that I see at least 4 people working on computers at the very moment the system is down. "Go next door to Kinko's and have them print off a proof sheet, only costs a couple of bucks and then come back and we can look at them."

Frustrated again, but with hope that I will soon have an answer, I walk a block to Kinko's and ask the very helpful employee behind the counter a question.

"Hi, I have pictures on this disc and I need a proof sheet printed out"

"I don't know what you are talking about" she helpfully replied.

"Oh, well I wanted to print off a proof sheet that has all of the pictures on it."

"We can't do that" she helpfully pointed out.

"It's just a sheet that has all of the pictures on it, so I can take a look at them."

"If we print a sheet with all of the pictures on it, each picture will be so small that you won't be able to see it"

"Well, they don't have to be regular size, they just need to be.....

"The only thing that can do that is that machine over there" she helpfully pointed out.

"Oh, that can print a proof sheet?"

"I don't know. It can print the pictures" then she helpfully turned her back and pretended to helpfully talk to someone else.

I go over to the machine, put in my disc and try to figure out the cheapest and easiest way to get what I want. I fail miserably. I end up paying $16, to print off 4X6 copies of each of my photos. All 55 of them. It takes around 45 seconds to print off 1 picture, so I sit on the floor of the Kinko's and catch all of my photos that print off.

I thank the helpful employee and walk back to my agents office. I am sure they are wondering where the hell I went since I have been gone over half an hour. I walk in, start to give my agent the pictures, when he gets a phone call from some woman who is a model with them. She has been offered $10,000 a day for a two day Panteene shampoo commercial. She is wavering because she just got a small part on an NBC show and doesn't want to do commercials anymore and not be thought of as a real actress. So I sit and wait as my agent is trying to get her to take the commercial and he can earn his 10-15% of $20,000. After a few minutes, this nice other agent tells me that she can take a look at my pictures and I take the 55 4X6 pictures over to her. She begins to go through them and I can see that she is getting a little overwhelmed by all of the pictures. So I tell her that I have my choices of those pictures that I printed out and brought with me. She tells me to show her those.

So I end up showing her the EXACT PHOTOS THAT I COPIED AND BROUGHT IT A WEEK AGO to choose my headshot.

She choose two. My agent got off the phone and told me that he trusts the other agents judgment and does not take a look at the ones she chose.

But I got my photo choices. Now all I have to do is get them reproduced. Easy right?

Wrong!

25th Century Heroes

2006-02-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

For the past four months I have been working on a show with two of my friends that moved out here last summer. I knew Alonzo and Buddy from Chicago where we all went through Improv Olympic together. I was very excited when I first heard that they were moving out here, because I had been itching to get something going myself to perform around town.

January 13, 2006 we made our debut at the Chicago Sketchfest.

We are the "25th Century Heroes"!!!

This is something that we are planning on doing for a long time. We are working on a website and videos and lots of other fun stuff.

The months leading up to our show were very, very hectic. It is always tough to write a show from scratch and get it ready to perform, but it was even more difficult because it was during the holidays.

But we prevailed.

Chicago was great. The Hoya and I flew in Wed night and then hung out with my sister. Thursday was a day of rest and watching shows and then Friday was the big day of our show.

The 25th Century Heroes is a theme that we have created so we can do something different than other sketch comedy teams. The three of us are from the future sent back to the present to observe humanity. We just wanted a way for us to have a show that just wasn't 10 funny scenes that had nothing to do with each other. People seemed to like the show and we got very positive feedback from everyone that we spoke with.

The Hoya was a valuable ally to the Heroes. She designed buttons that were a hit, she has designed merchandise that is available to purchase, and she sat in on our tech rehearsal and helped us to make the show look good. So the Heroes owe her a big thank you!

Expect more updates on the Heroes very soon. I am very proud of this and will continue to have fun stuff to show you soon.

Funny Taiwan Teaching Method

2006-01-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

One of my best friends from high school has lived in Taiwan for the past 5 years. He taught English to kids. He mailed me this sheet that is a teaching aid for the kids. It is a story that most of us will know from childhood, but with a little bit of a different ending. It made me laugh so I am sharing it with all of you.

One day, while the ants were going to work, the grasshoppers were going to dance. The ant's said, "We will work all summer, because we want to have enough food for winter." The grasshoppers laughed and said, "We want to be happy, so we are going to dance all summer."

The winter came. The ants had a lot of food and thought they were going to have a wonderful winter. They were very happy, and they danced and sang songs in their house. When the ants were happy, the grasshoppers were sad. The grasshoppers had no food to eat in the cold winter. They asked the ants for help, but the ants didn't want to give them food.

So, the grasshoppers were going to die. They said to themselves, "We will work hard next summer." But it was too late. After they finished the words, they died.

I guess they want to teach the kids the hard lessons early in life.

The Working Life

2006-01-21T17:12:00.000-08:00

The holidays are the busiest time of the year for catering. Everybody is having parties and so my company was sending out lots of people everyday. I ended up working in the office 4 weekdays and Saturdays for the past 3 months. It was nice money, but it really wore me down. Part of the problem is that catering attracts a lot of idiots. Most of the people we send out are fine and do an excellent job, but it is the idiots that cause all of the problems. Canceling on a job a couple of hours before you are supposed to start is a huge hassle for us, because there is no way that we can get someone else to take the job and get there on time. But when people cancel jobs, they act like we are the bad guys because we tell them it will affect their future with the company.

The other thing that really gets my goat is when people don't do any planning to get to there job on time. Here is one such exchange.

Me: How can I help you?
Joe: Yeah, I am supposed to be at a job and I can't find it?
Me: Okay, what is your name?
Joe: Joe.
Me: Joe who?
Joe: (exasperated) Joe Smith!!!
Me: Okay, so you are supposed to be at Cal Tech in 10 minutes.
Joe: Yes.
Me: Okay. Where are you?
Joe: I'm not sure.
Me: Alright. Do you have the address?
Joe: No.
Me: Do you have a map?
Joe: No.
Me: Did you mapquest the directions before you left?
Joe: No. I thought I knew where it was so I just got in my car and drove.
Me: Can you tell me the city you are in.
Joe: No sure.
Me: Can you tell me the streets that you are near.
Joe: I am on 1st street, passing Main st.
Me: Okay.
(pause as I try to call up a map on the internet)
Joe: You there?
Me: Yes, Joe. I am trying to find where you are. We gave you directions on your
calendar. Did you look at them.
Joe: No.
Me: Okay, hold on let me see if I can help you. You need to have the address
and directions with you when you leave for a job.
Joe: Hey man, if you don't wanna help me that's fine, I will just not show up.
Me: No Joe, don't do that, let me find where you are and get you there.

So I spend the next 20 minutes helping this guy to get to his destination, only to have him do it AGAIN the next time he goes on a job. Thankfully, he will not be working that much now that it has slowed down. When it is so busy during the holidays, we need every warm body that we can get. So, really shitty people work for us.

Now, I am not working in the office that much, which sucks for money, but is great since I have time to do other things. Like acting, which is why I moved out here.

Home For the Holidays

2006-01-21T15:32:00.000-08:00

I went back to Chicago for Thanksgiving. My sister still lives there and my parents were driving in from Pennsylvania to have Thanksgiving in my sisters new place.

I got there a couple of days before my parents did and it gave me some time to catch up with old friends. I saw my old roommate from college who now lives in San Francisco, another old friend from college who still lives in Chicago, my old roommate from Chicago, and some old improv friends. It was a full day, but it was nice to get to see everyone.

My parents came in and then we had family time. My mother and sister made Thanksgiving dinner. My mom makes the BEST turkey ever. Her secret ingredient is that she puts grapes and grape juice in the bottom on the pan you cook the turkey in. The grapes, along with some cranberries, makes the turkey really most because of the acid in the fruit. My sister had a friend over for dinner and she said it might have been the best turkey she had ever eaten.

After dinner, we went and saw "Wicked" in downtown Chicago. We all enjoyed it a lot, even my dad.

It was good to have a day of rest before heading back to Los Angeles.

Then I went to my parents house in Pennsylvania for Christmas. It is nice to go there because we don't know anyone there since they only moved a couple of years ago, so it is only family time.

I was really, really sick when I got there. I had a cold/flu from being run down and not getting enough sleep. After a couple of days I felt better and began to annoy my family again, at which point they wished I was still sick.

Christmas was fun and got some good stuff, but mainly it was nice to see my family again and to take a little break from the insanity that was work.

New Years was spent in Los Angeles. After work, I took the Hoya to a mutual friends house to ring in the new year. The Reverend and Rockstar met us there and we all had a good time hanging out and taking pictures. New Years came and then we left because I had to get up and work in Malibu early in the morning.

I love holidays, but I wish I wasn't so busy this year because it seemed like I never really got to enjoy them.

Hello Old Friend

2006-01-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

Well, as you can see I have not updated this blog in over a month. The main reason being that the past several months have been exceptionally busy. The holidays are the busiest time of the year for catering and I was working in the office just about every day, and doing other events in the field and doing improv at two theaters and getting a sketch comedy show together to perform in January. That, plus traveling for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and to perform this show, made my time at home minimal. But, things have quieted down and I will be back to writing several times a week to keep everyone updated with events going on in my life. For now, I will post several entries with what I have been up to the past couple of months.

The Chicago Bears Rule!!!

2005-12-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

I would like to congratulate the Chicago Bears on their victory over the Green Bay Packers today. The Bears really put it together and managed a fine victory. Green Bay had no answers and couldn't pull out the win. So hats off to Lovie et al for a hard fought victory.

I hope you are happy Mark M.

Bear Down

Magic In LA

2005-11-17T17:43:00.000-08:00

The past Monday morning, I was again reminded why LA is like no other city in America. I was getting into the elevator at the building where I work and right behind me walked in Tommy Lee from the band Motley Crue. He got on with a bodyguard and some "suit" type of guy. They chit chatted for the 10 seconds or so that it took to get up to the 5th floor. Being the gentleman that I am I let them get off first and when I followed them around the corner, there was Nikki Six from the band as well. Apparently there is a radio station on the same floor as my work and they do interviews there every now and then. Later on, Tommy and Nikki were joined by Mick Mars as well. All three looked like they had been doing some hard living. But it was Monday morning so I am sure that I didn't look so hot either.

I laughed so hard

2005-11-15T23:55:00.000-08:00

I was doing laundry tonight, when I discovered that I was 1 quarter short to dry my last load. I keep quarters in my car for meters so I went out to my car in the lot next door to get one.

As I approached my car I heard voices in an apartment above me. I don't know why but I stopped right by my drivers side door and turned to look where the voices came from. I was standing there turned to my left and looking at the 2nd floor of the apartment building. I guess I kind of zoned out and must have been there staring motionless for a few seconds, when all of a sudden I heard automatic locks click. I looked at the passenger side window of the car parked next to mine and there was a person sitting there looking at me. It is dark in the lot so I couldn't see what they looked like, and they in turn couldn't see what I looked like. So from their point of view, some strange guy walked up near their window and began staring at them. Probably freaked them out a bit. I got spooked when the locks were clicked and I knew I probably scared them, so I gave them a good natured wave and walked back inside my apartment laughing at the ridiculousness of the the situation. Then I realized that I hadn't gotten the quarter out of my car. If I had opened my car door, it probably would have calmed them down a bit. But I didn't. Cause I am an idiot. So I just spent 10 minutes looking for 1 quarter in my apartment. I found one in the bottom of my bag, thank God.

But I can't go back outside until morning.

Introducing, the 25th Century Heroes

2005-11-14T22:33:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in another post that I have been writing a show with two friends of mine that have recently moved out here from Chicago. Our group is called "25th Century Heroes". We have been plugging away for a few months now, and I am really excited by what we have come up with. I have been nervous because I was not sure if we would have a chance to perform our stuff in front of a crowd before our show in the spring.

But I am nervous no longer.

25th Century Heroes will be performing 2 shows at the 2006 Chicago Sketchfest in January.

I will have more details up for anyone who would like to come see us perform.

Right now I am just excited.

An Open Letter to African-American Men

2005-11-14T22:12:00.000-08:00

Dear African-American Men,

I am writing to alert you to a disturbing trend that I have recently noticed and I feel could become dangerous. Over the past six months or so, I have witnessed numerous accounts of white men referring to other white men as "brother". Two such examples are when I have gone to a bar, the bartender will say "What can I get for you brother", and when you do something nice for a complete stranger they thank you by saying "thanks, brother". Now I know I am not the only one that is bothered by this, but I think I am the first one to speak out against it. There are a lot of things that white society has usurped from the African-American culture. Things such as music, fashion, dance and Eddie Murphy. Indeed it is becoming clear that the African-American culture is the most imitated culture on the planet, but I say that this "brother" trend has got to stop. This is yours. You started it, you own it. Young white males might feel that they are cool or hip when saying this, but I think it comes from a place of insecurity. Young white culture today has really nothing groundbreaking going for it. So they leach onto whatever is thought of as "cool".

However, this is not only a young white male problem. I worked a catering event not to long ago for an insurance company. The average age of most males was around 40 or so. Now I know that insurance companies are thought of globally as being trend setters, but a lot of the older white males referred to each other as "brother".

"Profits are looking good, brother"
"Thanks for the gin and tonic, brother"
"Brother, you are never going to believe who I tagged last night"

I for one am sick of it. So I am calling for all African-American men to let white America know that this is unacceptable! Say that it is racist or something along those lines, you know how we shy away from that. Make it as scary as using the "n" word. See, I can't even type it in this scientific plea! I for one will applaud you and support you in any way that I can.

Another trend that is not prevalent yet, but could become so, is the pronunciation of the word "bro" as "bra". "Bro" is another word that has been stolen from you, and now is being bastardized by the white man. Perhaps the new pronunciation gives some white men a feeling of ownership, since it is new. I am not sure. I do not think this is as big a danger as "brother", since the word "bra" really just makes people sound stupid. Perhaps this was the plan all along? I do not know, but thought I would draw your attention to it.

You are welcome for the heads up, and I look forward to your action

Sincerely yours,

Sydewynder

P.S. While you are at it, can you make a final judgment on the Black vs. African-American thing? I would really appreciate it.

Evening Alone

2005-10-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy lately that I forgot how relaxing a night at home can be. Tonight was on of those rare nights that I got to do that and I am loving every minute of it.

I have begun working in the catering office full time now. They did not hire me as a full time employee, with benefits and everything, but at least I have a set schedule and can have a night or two like tonight every now and then.

Improv continues to go very well with both Improv Olympic and LA Connection Comedy theater.

But the newest thing is that I am writing a sketch comedy show with two friends of mine that recently moved out from Chicago. Both of them are friends of mine from Improv Olympic in Chicago. We had begun emailing each other in January about them moving out here and that we should work together on something that could be very creative and also something that we could sell ourselves in. As soon as they moved out here we began writing and working on our show idea.

We call ourselves, The 25th Century Heroes. Together our designations are 001, 002 and 003. It doesn't make much sense unless I go into detail about why we call ourselves that, but 002 and 003 and I are extremely happy with the way things are going. We have submitted to Sketchfest 2006 in Chicago this January and hopefully will have a complete show in the spring. Needless to say they have given me a much needed shot of creative energy.

Other than that most of my time is spent in the office, class, rehearsal, performing or some other task related to one of those things. That is why I have been so busy.

But I have some ideas for blog entries, so I will keep up to date with that.

Office Moron

2005-10-01T01:17:00.000-07:00

I work in the catering company's office a lot now, because it is the busy season and I have experience staffing from my time in Chicago.

We have snacks available in our kitchen to keep us going. Things like, nuts, goldfish crackers, granola bars, soda, etc. We also have dixie cups to scoop them into and also to drink water from should you choose too.

I grabbed two cups, one for water and one for nuts and set them on opposite sides of the computer. Peanuts on the left, water on the right.

Fast forward about an hour. I had been making phone calls and staffing people and while I was on the phone waiting to leave messages, I would toss a few peanuts in my mouth and then when I was done chewing I would drink some water. Well, I was on the phone and was leaving a message when I wanted some peanuts. I grabbed the cup on the right side and tossed the rest of the WATER onto my face and then it dripped down onto my shirt.

Everyone in the office thought it was one of the funniest things they have ever seen.

2 Cents, or 3?

2005-10-01T01:12:00.000-07:00

The other day, Rockstar and I were walking down the street and we passed a homeless man. Right as we passed him, he held out his hand and said,

"DILDO!?"

In his hand he was holding some sort of plastic shaft that looked like it indeed was a dildo, but it was the grossest dildo ever. Weirdly curved and kind of melted a little at the tip.

Rockstar and I both said no to the kind offer, but he wouldn't let us get away without one strong, last pitch.

"Come on, 3 cent?"

Which I found to be completely reasonable for a street dildo, but we passed on that exceptional deal.

Then we began to argue whether the man said "2 cent" or "3 cent". I thought he said 3, while Rockstar was convinced he said 2. Either way we agree that we live in a shitty neighborhood and need to get out as soon as we can make some better money.

Emmy's Galore

2005-10-01T00:51:00.000-07:00

There are two actual Emmy award shows. The first one is for technical achievements. Set design, wardrobe, makeup, that sort of thing. The second one is for the actors, shows, writers, and the stuff that people pay attention to. I was lucky enough to work both events at the Shrine auditorium.

The first event was pretty cool. There were hundreds of servers working, along with cooks, and event staff so it was kind of a crazy, cluster fuck, but I didn't mind. I was assigned to work a table and when all of my guests had sat down, I noticed that every couple had an Emmy. I had 10 people and 5 HUGE Emmy's sitting at my table, which equates to a 100% Emmy winner table. They were all very nice, and VERY happy of course and I was working for a different company than I usually do so I was making more money, which made the event a success in my book.

The following weekend, I worked the award show that everyone watches. I was doing the same thing, working a table in a particular section, but it was pretty cool seeing all of the celebrities. My table faced the exit of the theater into the dining area, so you name the celebrity and chances are I saw them. Highlights for me included, Ben waffle's, whoop Goldberg, quantum trending, Christian Slater, Blythe Danner, Oliver Platt, Conan O'Brien, Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Ellen DeGeneres and Jennifer Love Hewett, who I don't really like as an actress but is just so cute in person.

The event was really crowded and we had to hustle to get people their food quickly but the people at the event could have cared less if they were in our way. Lots of lollygagging around, even though they could clearly see that there was a line of 20 waiters trying to get by to go to the kitchen. But people were having fun and that was the most important thing. At one point I was walking to the kitchen and this dude was ahead of me blocking my path. He was waking extremely slowly and because of the crowd I had no choice but to walk behind him and hope the he either sped up or let me by or turned. I decided to have some fun and invented a game called "kick the back of shoes". The rules of this game are pretty simple. You kick the back of the person's shoes ahead of you until they let you by. I kicked this guy four times before he turned around and glared at me. I said "I am REALLY, REALLY SORRY SIR" and he saw that I was all flustered and carrying trays so he let me pass by him. I laughed and laughed at my new game, but no one else that I played it with seemed to enjoy it as much as I did.

I did get pretty depressed at one point during the night. I was clearing away some dirty dishes and it just hit me that I am at the center of where I want to be, surrounded by working actors, and I was taking dirty dishes to be washed. Not that I wanted to be at the Emmy award shows, but just to be a working actor would be nice.

Next Year!

The Smile Was Worth It

2005-09-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

Couple of weeks ago, I took off four days of catering work and filled in for a girl on my L.A. Connection Comedy Theater team and did kids shows. We would go to 2 or 3 different YMCA centers and perform an improv show using the kids. I had a fun time doing them and it was nice to see kids laugh and have fun with us.

The owner of the theater is kind of a douche bag and gave us a bunch of wrong information, so for a couple of the days of shows we were given bad addresses and times so we looked like fools. But what can you do.

The best day was the last of them. There are 3 other actors besides myself who perform these shows. The leader of our group, The Hoya, came and told us that at this particular YMCA they had a deaf child in the audience and that he had an interpreter there who would sign to him so he could follow along. The Hoya told the teacher and the interpreter that she wanted to bring the child up to participate in a game with us so he could be included. The only game that he could really do is called "Fairy Tale". In that game we take about 6-7 kids from the audience and we stand in a line together. The Hoya is the narrator and she asks the audience to give her there two favorite fairy tales. Then she combines them to make a fun story. The narrator tells the story and speaks all of the dialogue for the actors and all we have to do is pantomime what she is saying and act out what she tells us too. It is mainly geared toward the younger children so they don't have to speak. She told the teacher and the interpreter that she could sign the story as she spoke and give the kids directions by sign language. Then she busts out and goes into advanced sign language. I was really impressed.

When it was time for the game, she pointed out the child and signed to him that she wanted him to come up and join the game. The child looked surprised and then pointed at his chest, just to make sure he was seeing her correctly. When she signed yes, he SPRINTED up to the front and joined us for the game. Then we played the game with the kids and the child had the best time out of all of them. He was smiling ear to ear and having a blast playing the footman in "Sleeping Beauty meets Shrek". When it was over, he ran smiling back to his chair and I almost started crying. I was so happy that I could be a part of bringing joy to a child who has had a difficult life and was probably not looking forward to having yet another show at the center that he could not participate in. I told The Hoya that I was proud of her and that she should be proud of herself. I also felt inadequate, because I would have had no way to reach that child if she wasn't there.

Then the next school we went to had a child with Down Syndrome in the audience. We brought him up to play "Fairy tale" also, and he played Shrek in the story. By the way, Shrek was the suggestion for almost all of their favorite fairy tales. He was great as Shrek, even going so far as to imitate the mannerisms of an ogre while he was out there. He too ran smiling back to his chair after the game was over.

I also taught 45 minutes of improv games to kids by myself after one of the shows. I had 1st and 2nd graders in my group. I didn't realize that was the grade that everyone decides to kick and punch each other cause these kids were going after each other like it was an Ultimate Fighting Championship Pay Per View. I had to sit a few kids out, and tell some others to go to the bathroom to get them away from me for a few minutes, but overall it was fun.

The money that I earned from doing these shows and teaching comes off of my monthly dues for the theater. We didn't get paid much, but it was worth it just to see the smiles.

Improv Update

2005-09-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

Improv has be going extremely well lately.

At Improv Olympic, the team that I am on "Emperor Penguin" is starting to come together as a team and has been performing well.

I was having a difficult time with the team about a month ago because of little things that were bothering me. Mostly it was stuff like being late to rehearsal or warm-ups before the show, and not seeming to take an interest in the team. I had reached a point were I was about to stop caring about the team and just show up and do my best, when one of the guys on the team pulled me aside and we started talking. He mentioned to me that I was one of the people on the team who had been in improv the longest. I had been on a couple of teams in Chicago and had gone through the Second City program and that people looked up to me. He suggested that I start taking a more prominent leadership role and that people on the team would back me up 100%. So, I sent out an email a couple of days before a show suggesting that the whole team should be there no later than 30 minutes before the show so we could get a nice long warm-up in before we went on stage. Sure enough, everyone was there for warm-ups on time and it has carried through the past few weeks. We also don't have a coach at the moment and have been having to coach ourselves and I think that has solidified us as a team. Now we are working on one small goal each show so that we can build a foundation for ourselves as a complete and solid Improv Olympic team.

The last two shows have been really good. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I was in a scene during the last show that just KILLED. It was a simple scene where a one-eyed guy picked me up hitchhiking. Then we just started talking and it was so interesting and funny that the team let us stay out there a little longer than a scene usually goes. I felt really good about my performance and the performance of the team and am looking forward to continuing to grow together.

At the L.A. Connection Comedy theater that I have been performing at for the past 6 months, things are going well also. The owner finally got off of his ass and started doing something about getting crowds. A company contacted him and he sells them tickets at a reduced rate and then they turn around and sell them at the colleges around L.A., of which there are a lot of them.

The past couple of weeks we have had shows where the audience is close to 40 people, which may not seem like a lot, but when you are used to performing to 4 people, it makes a HUGE difference. Plus, I think my group is pretty good and we put on a good show and the crowds have really seemed to like us.

I feel very positive right now with improv. Which is nice because not much else is happening career-wise. But that will change also.

Curb MY Enthusiasm

2005-09-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a free improv seminar taught by Jeff Garlin. He is the Executive Producer of Curb Your Enthusiasm and plays, Jeff, who is Larry David's Manager.

I thought it would be fun and informative to take his class since the show is improv based and really, really funny.

The class started at 3pm, so I was in my seat at 2:50, ready to learn. There was one other guy sitting in the row ahead of me. We said hello to each other and then went into our own worlds, probably dreaming of Jeff picking us to be on his show.

3pm hits and no one else is there but us two. 3:05 and still no one. The guy ahead of me laughs and says,

"I forgot. Actors."

Which I thought was funny because it is true. I don't know how people expect to make it in this tough business when they can't even handle the simple things like showing up on time.

So around 3:10 people filter through the door and at 3:15 Jeff Garlin walks in and starts the class.

He tells us that he is going to teach us what he knows, and how to audition for Curb Your Enthusiasm using improv. Most of the day he hands out slips of paper that has a couple of sentences on it describing the characters or situation you will improvise. Then you went up and did the scene and he critiqued you and gave suggestions to everyone about how to audition better.

I thought it was really interesting when he told us that when people come into audition for CYE, they audition with the real actors from the show, and not just casting directors.

I went up a couple of times and he seemed to like what I did because he didn't have much criticism for me. Towards the end of class he was going to have us improvise situations from this movie that he just wrote and directed. He set up the scene and then it happened. He pointed right at me and said,

"I want you to do this, and you to do this", and he pointed at another woman that I thought had done a good job.

I thought that was really, really cool. He hadn't done that before and didn't do that after, so I felt proud that I had made an impression on him.

We do the scene and then more people do the scene and then class ended.

I walked up to Jeff who was getting his stuff together on a set of stairs that goes up to the balcony section of the theater, and told him thank you. I did so by raising my right arm and kind of giving him a little wave. He said that it was his pleasure and I brought my hand down and hit the tip of my elbow on the metal banister. HARD. It made a loud hollow noise and I just walked out quickly. Not sure if Jeff saw that, but I was pretty sure that I had destroyed any good impression that he might have had of me.

I walked out into the lobby and paused to rub my elbow because it hurt bad.

But not bad enough to ruin that day.

Retail Hell

2005-09-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

Most people at one time or another has worked in the retail sector. Either during high school, college, or in between jobs, so everyone has a working idea of how shitty it is to work that type of job. I thought that my days of working retail were far in my past. I was wrong.

Recently, my catering company sent me to work two days at Warner Brother’s Studio, for a job described as “coffee service”. When they found out that I had zero experience making coffee, they stuck me in the Warner Brother’s store. The store is just a big merchandise rip-off that the tourists go to after the tour of the studio. It’s full of t-shirts, mugs, key chains, posters, and everything in between that has either television shows or movies that WB makes.

To make matters worse, the boss was an incredible anal man named Robert, or Anal Bob as I referred to him. He would walk around the store and point out every t-shirt that wasn’t folded properly, every mug whose handle was not pointed out in the right direction and every person that we had not greeted properly upon them entering the store. I could care less about everything there, but I wanted to do a good job so I jumped right in.

T-Shirts

All of the t-shirts had to be folded in exactly the same manor so that whatever word was showing on the fold, was showing on all of the t-shirts in exactly the same manor. And when I say exactly, I mean EXACTLY. I can’t tell you how many shirts I folded because the “s” on a “Friends” t-shirt didn’t match up with the others. One time he took me aside and made me re-fold about 30 shirts that had the WB crest over the right chest because they were all not uniformed. So 30 minutes later, I had folded all of the shirts, they were looking good, and I was pleased. Until I turned around 30 seconds later and saw a woman who must have had NO idea what her size was because she picked up 28 of the 30 shirts and unfolded them to put them on her to see if they fit. Then she didn’t even buy one. She threw them all in a pile and walked away. I wanted to strangle her with a shirt, but I calmly walked over and re-folded them AGAIN. I figured out that if you are doing something to a pile of t-shirts or mugs, then people automatically are drawn to them and as soon as you are done, they mess them up. But I didn’t always have to fold t-shirts, I was put in charge of printing pictures for a while.

Pictures

On one of the parts of the WB tour, people stand in front of a green screen and look up at something scary. Then by the magic of special effects, they can pick up a free picture at the end of the tour that has the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazard movie jumping over them. You would have thought that this was a picture of God himself the way people would carry on about them. The tours are pretty big, and sometimes it would take a while for the pictures to be sent to the server for the gift shop. Let me tell you, if you don’t have that picture ready for the family from Milwaukee, WI as soon as they walk up, they are NOT happy about it. One woman was so scared that we had lost her family’s picture. She kept going on and on about it being missing and didn’t even say thank you when I found it and printed it off for her, because she wanted another free one and we can only give one free per group. The other copies cost $4.99, which didn’t please her even though she had just plunked down $25 for a t-shirt that simple said “ER”. One man was so taken by his picture that he kept asking for more stuff. Thankfully he was not talking to me. Here is a portion of the exchange.

Man: This picture is really great. Any way you could email me a copy?

Worker: I’m sorry sir; we don’t have the ability to email the pictures.

Man: Huh? That’s weird because I know a lot about computers and it doesn’t
Seem that hard to email it.

Worker: We have an independent server and it only hooks the computers here
there is no outside internet service.

Man: Hmmm. Could you put it on a disc for me?

Worker: Sorry sir, we don’t have that ability either, but you could buy
another copy if you would like.

Man: Noooo. I just think that it would be really easy to give people a
disc or an email. I am really good with computers so it would be no
problem for me to get it.

Worker: I’m sorry to disappoint you sir.

Man: What about different backgrounds? Any chance you have anything else?

Worker: Well, we change the background depending on what movie or TV show is
Popular at the time, but we don’t have the other backgrounds now.

Man: Wow! I know a lot about computers and it would be neat to see this
With a different background and it doesn’t seem that hard to me.

Worker: Well, they are thinking or maybe having that option in the future.

Man: Really?! When?

Worker: I don’t’ know.

Man: Any chance it would be in the next week, we leave then?

Worker: No.

Man: If I gave you my email address, could someone could let me know
When that happens, cause I know a lot about computers and it would be
No problem for me to have this sent to me with different backgrounds.

Worker: I don’t know when that would be sir?

Man: Let me give you my email address and you can let me know when that
Happens.

Worker: Okay, sir. I would be happy to do that.

Man: That’s great, cause I know a lot about computers and I would love for
this to be a Christmas card.

By the third time he said he was “good with computers” I wanted to scream at him to just make the picture himself. I know people who can put your face on Captain Kirk’s body in about 10 seconds, but apparently this supercomputer guy could figure that out. Thankfully I didn’t have to work the pictures all day, we took shifts.

Loose Keys

I was working with a woman from my company that I am friends with. Her name is Eva and she is from Austria. I went up to her during the second day and asked her if there were a lot of loose keys floating around Europe. She asked me why and I told her that every European tourist that comes in buys at least 5 key chains. She told me that they are cheap gifts to bring back to people. The cheapest key chain that we had was $5, which if it was me, I would not buy a “Gilmore Girls” key chain if it was $5. But I am not very European.

So that was a re-cap of my two days of retail hell.

At Least It's Something

2005-08-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

I received a call last week from the agency that I read for and didn’t do that well. I had sent them a thank you note and wrote that I would still like to have a meeting with them since I haven’t met anyone from the agency. They wanted me to come in for a meeting and have a chat.

Having spit shined my shoes and put a fresh coat of pomade in my hair, I went to see them.

It started out in a very “Bryan” way.

The woman that I was meeting with asked me to sit down in her office and she was going to get my file. She looked and looked and couldn’t find it. This was the second file to have been lost by this agency. I was not getting a good feeling. She got up to go look in a different office and some stuff on top of her computer started to slide off. Like a gentleman, I stood up to grab it before it fell.

The type of chairs she had in her office were kind of like leather director’s chairs. They had the seat, which was just a piece of leather stretched between the metal bars, then there was not seat from my butt until the middle of my back. The back of the chair was a piece of material stretched across the bars vertical to the floor only touching my shoulders and going to the middle of my back. So there is no material in the small of my back.

When I stood up, the back of my belt caught on the bottom part of the chair back. Thus, the chair lifted off of the floor when I stood up, causing me to stumble a bit. The chair was at an odd angle so when I sat back down to unhook my belt, the chair slid out from under me a little bit. I didn’t fall, thank God, but I came close.

They didn’t have my file, and so I had to, yet again, fill out an information sheet. She told me that she remembered the comments that the guy I read for wrote down and that they were “fantastic”. I didn’t tell her what really happened. She gave me a bunch of information on the agency and then said, “Welcome aboard”. That was that. I was signed with that agency for theatrical representation.

I am not really sure how I feel about them. But, the agreement I signed is non-exclusive, so I can work with someone else, should that opportunity arise.

I guess with the television season just about the start, it is good to have representation.

Time will only tell.

Malibu

2005-08-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

It has been really slow working for my catering company these past couple of months. A friend of mine recommended my to another catering company that only works out of Malibu. Long story short, they hired me and my first job was two weekends ago.

Here are the events in chronological order that occurred that night.

11:30am – I arrive in Malibu, possible one of the prettiest places around. Right on the ocean, surrounded by mountains, it is just breathtaking.

12:00pm – I leave with the rest of the company to go park our cars and take a van up to where the wedding is. The parking lot is right by a small trailer that has a sign on it that says “worker placement agency”. The only people around it appear to by Latino men. One lady remarks, “I hope my wheels are still there when we get back”, she thinks this is a riot. Jose, one of our chefs, doesn’t seem to like it that much.

12:30pm – We begin setting up for the wedding. It is at a place called Castle Kasham. It is a building that looks just like a real castle. It has a breathtaking view of the ocean and surrounding areas, which include houses by Mel Gibson and Olivia Newton John, supposedly.

4:30pm – Guest begin to arrive and we have set up a lemonade and ice tea bar for them to have drinks before the ceremony. I am serving the lemonade and ice tea. The wine, beer and liquor bar is not open for business until after the ceremony.

4:31pm – Guests begin to pick up the lemonade and ice tea and start to mill around before the ceremony starts.

4:32pm – Good Looking Surfer Dude asks me if there is anything else besides ice tea and lemonade to drink. I tell him the alcohol bar will not open until after the ceremony, per the bride’s directions. To which he replies, “I don’t get that, this is Malibu, you know” to which I have no appropriate answer. He picks up a glass of lemonade and begins to drink it while giving me a look to let me know that he will drink lemonade, but he is NOT really going to enjoy it.

4:40pm – Good Looking Surfer Dude intercepts a couple of his friends going to my bar and tells them, “The real bar is not open yet, can you believe that. I don’t get that”. His friends don’t seem to mind since it is 137 degrees out and they will be sitting in the sun during the ceremony.

4:42 – Good Looking Surfer Dude again lets me know that he could really use something else to drink because the lemonade is “just not cutting it”. I tell him yet again that the bar will be open in less than an hour and he can drink all that he wants to then. He is not happy with my answer and shakes his head as he walks away.

4:47pm – An older man comes over to my station to pick up an ice tea and sample some of the cheese and fruit we have set up next to my stand. He proceeds to drop 62 grapes on the ground plus a couple of crackers with cheese on it. Then just walks away, leaving the huge mess for me to take care of.

4:52pm – A younger kid accidentally kicks a floodlight on the ground and it comes loose from its bracket. He tries to fix it for about 9 seconds and then moves away from it, hoping no one would notice.

4:53pm – I walk over to it and screw it back into the bracket. Problem solved.

5:00pm – The ceremony begins and we have a few minutes break before the cocktail hour begins.

5:30pm – Cocktail hour begins. I am serving wine and juice on a tray to help cut down on the rush to the alcohol bar.

5:45pm – I begin tray-passing appetizers on a tray to people.

5:48pm - I approach Good Looking Surfer Dude with a tray of appetizers asking him if he and his date would like one. He says “no, but if you could get the wine guy to get me another glass that would be good”. I don’t have the heart to tell him that I am the wine guy and that I am obviously not passing wine anymore. I also don’t have the heart to tell him that he has a completely full glass of white wine and should be good for a while. I also don’t tell him that he is a douche bag.

5:57pm – As I am passing some crab cakes a man walks up to me and asks if we have anymore coconut shrimp. I tell him I will check when I go back to the kitchen for another plate.

6:01pm – I come out with a plate of coconut shrimp and the man takes 8 of them onto his three napkins, leaving about 15 for everyone else to eat.

6:08pm – I go back into the kitchen and tell the boss what happened with the coconut shrimp and she wants me to point out to her who the guy was that took 8 of them. I jokingly ask if there is going to be a fight and she says, “No, I am just going to go up to him and say hey, there are other people here. Don’t take all of the fucking shrimp”.

6:30pm – Cocktail hour is over. People begin to take their seats in a different courtyard for dinner. The alcohol bar is being broken down and moved to the front courtyard so that people can have drinks during dinner and dancing.

6:37pm – A guy walks up to the back bar and asks for a rum and coke. The bartender explains that we are moving the bar and the front bar will be ready in about ten minutes. The back bar does not have any liquor now, only the soda and juices for making drinks. So the guy asks for a vodka tonic. The bartender patiently explains that there is NO alcohol at this bar, only the juice and soda and if he waits ten minutes the front bar will be able to get him the drink. The guy is not happy and replies “You mean I have to wait ten minutes to get a drink?” then walks off in a huff.

6:41pm – Good Looking Surfer Dude grabs me and orders a drink. I tell him that the front bar will be open in a couple of minutes and I can get his drink then. He says to me “This is Malibu, people like to drink. Why do I have to wait?” I explain to him about the moving of the bar and that it will only be a few more minutes. He shakes his head and I walk off.

6:41 and 10 seconds pm – Good Looking Surfer Dude grabs another server and asks her for the drink. She tells him the same thing, and he clearly thinks that we are lying to him.

6:45pm – The front bar is open, everyone is happy and Good Looking Surfer Dude has received his drink. The future is looking bright.

7:00pm – We begin to server dinner. The place settings with people’s names on them and their table have symbols on the back of them telling us what dinner they ordered. Heart for steak, silver star for chicken, green happy face for fish, and so on. All we have to do is look at people’s place cards and put down the dinner that is corresponds to. We are serving salad now, so that is easy since everyone gets the same salad.

7:32pm – We figure out that most people have not put their place cards on the table or have thrown them away. We have no idea what people are supposed to eat and they are not happy telling us what they ordered.

7:44pm – The DJ makes an announcement for everyone to put their place cards on the table, facing out so that the servers can give them the correct dinner. I see 3 people doing it, the rest could care less. This is Malibu after all.

8:11pm – We discover even though people ordered their meal, they often don’t want what they ordered and don’t get why we can’t just give them what they want. So, we give up on the place card symbols since the sun is setting, we can’t see them and people are bargaining with us as to what they want to eat.

8:23pm – One woman at the second to last table asks what the symbols mean, we tell her and she asks what the symbol is to get her a gin and tonic. Then she laughs one of those hysterical, drunk laughs that everyone thinks is funny except for the sober servers.

8:45pm – Everyone is served and is relatively happy. The dancing begins, and we start to clear dishes. This is usually the easiest part of the night because everyone is fed and drinking and happy. My feet hurt and I am a little sunburned and ready to go home and sleep, but I can’t. I have to be in Sherman Oaks to do an improv show at 10:30.

9:30pm – They release me, tell me what a good job I did and let me know that they are going to be using me again. I get to my car, which still has all of the wheels attached, and leave Malibu.

9:38pm – I hit Saturday night traffic back to L.A. make a phone call to a guy on my team letting him know that I may get there right as the show starts.

10:00pm – I am still in traffic, but this time on the 405 North, the worst highway in the world for traffic.

10:20pm – I roll into the theater and get ready for the show.

12:00am – The show ends and I am on my way home. Tired, but for some reason the Chinatown movie is playing in my head only instead of Chinatown, it’s Malibu. And instead of me being a private detective, I am a caterer. I try to fight what I see going on in Malibu, but my friend tells me “Forget it Jake, this is Malibu”.

For those of you who have seen the movie, you will get it. For those of you that have not seen the movie, you should. It’s great.

Mr. Romantic

2005-08-07T22:51:00.000-07:00

Rockstar and I have been trading off buying beer for the apartment. It was my turn to buy, so today I drove down the street to our local liquor store on my way home from work.

The counter is run by a Korean man who doesn't speak much English. The biggest pet peeve I have going there is that they have these really small black plastic bags that they use to put goods in. The problem is that when you buy a Miller Lite Fridge Pack of 12 beers, it is way to long for one bag, so they usually put two on it and you end up carrying it by the handles anyway and you have two small black plastic bags left over that are useless. Most of the time you have to tell him you DON'T need a bag and sometimes he puts one on anyway, and sometimes he doesn't.

Today I was behind a guy who was buying a magazine entitled "Exposed" that had two young ladies sitting on each other's laps kissing. It was a nudie magazine. The Korean man rang it up and it came to $10.21, which the guy buying the magazine thought was expensive and even I questioned that price. But, the Korean man said something in some language and pointed to the price on the magazine and that it was correct. The young man buying it looked down at his hand, I assumed he didn't have that much money, and mumbled something and walked out, not purchasing the magazine.

I bought the beer and kind of lost track of what was going on, still thinking about the high price of the magazine, and the Korean man bagged my beer, which I then carried out to my car by the handles.

As I was leaving the parking lot, I passed by this little flower shop that is on the sidewalk. Out of the flower shop came the same young man who was trying to buy the nudie magazine, but he was carrying one red rose.

I thought to myself, wow, that is a really weird thing to buy after trying to purchase porn. Then I thought, maybe he has a girlfriend who said something like,

"I like it when you are romantic towards me", and he immediately thought,

She wants some girl-on-girl porn.

Not being able to get the porn, he went with the old reliable single red rose. So the high price of that magazine probably saved his relationship.

But I still have that stupid black bag!